The tough times during the casts …….

So, Jessica had done it.. we had got through the first hurdle.. Casts.. have to be honest that it did have its bad bits.. so here goes.. I’m viewing this blog post as therapy and I hope that you mummies and daddies out there with happy feet babies don’t feel upset when reading… but I did promise honesty..

To see a 6lb11oz baby in full leg casts is always going to be a shock to the system… to have this done on a hot summer day is also not helpful… at the time Jessica had her first casts put on I will admit that I was partly on another planet and for that I blame the shock that she had arrived 3 weeks early coupled with the shock that she actually arrived after a very long labour.  I was exhausted! so admittedly my memory of this first step in the process is a bit foggy.

I’ve already explained what happens when they put her in casts so I won’t go into that again.. what this post is about is what comes when you get home.. what I simply didn’t expect..

As I said before, Jessica was born in the summer.. when everyone is out and about and to me this was just the perfect time to have a baby.. to be able to make use of the pram and have lovely family walks.. the sad part is that I ended up almost dreading these walks.. not always but on my bad days (as every new mum has).

Maybe I was in a ‘zone’, maybe I was naive.. but what I never expected was the amount of interest me introducing my new baby girl to our village while she was wearing her leg casts would bring… now please don’t think that I am saying my village is full of rude people who stare… absolutely not! we are a strong family based community which results in most people knowing you some way or another and also people actually caring about each other… so this is hard to explain and get the point across correctly..because everyone (almost) meant well.

I was so very proud to be a mummy.. It was something I had always wanted to be so I had no hesitation in putting Jessica in a lovely summer dress and taking her out into our village for the annual ‘club day’.. Of course like most mummies, I wanted to show her off and enjoy being part of the mummy club… but my memories of this day aren’t all great.  Unfortunately I did not prepare for all of the questions… and there were loads..

If I had a pound for every time we were asked that day if Jessica had ‘clicky hip’ I swear we would have made a fortune.. the first people that asked what was wrong, were fine.. I was prepared (to a point) for questions.. but what I was so sad about was that the casts overshadowed us showing off our greatest ever achievement .. Our precious baby girl.. You see, people first saw Jessica, but then they noticed the casts… so rather than them coo and aaah as most of us do when introduced to a new baby, then give the mum and dad hugs, best wishes then maybe make jokes about “welcome to the sleepless night club” and so on.. – all positive things…we didn’t get that.. not that day.. we got oh no whats ‘wrong with her?’ ‘oh has she got clicky hip?, what are the casts for?, oh what a shame.. and for us then to continuously have to explain the course of treatment and what it entailed, that she had bilateral talipes, you know…. club feet….

I am not saying that these people didn’t mean well – of course they did.. they all looked genuinely concerned for both jessica and us.. because our village looks after its community.. but.. it still hurt…

I felt like I wanted to stand in the middle of the club day celebrations and scream….

“Hi, just so you all know… we had our baby early, so she is here to celebrate our first ‘club day’ as a family.. we are so so so HAPPY and she is everything we could have ever wished for! please come meet her and share our joy.. by the way.. she has two full leg casts on.. no – not for clicky hip – she has bilateral talipes..but don’t worry – we and her consultant have it all in hand so just come meet her and congratulate us she is PERFECT!!! ”

People sometimes say the right things.. but unfortunately it is very hard for faces to hide true feelings.. and i saw a lot of “oh poor emma and stew” faces that day.. and I have to admit.. it burst my bubble a little bit.. because I am far too proud at times.. and admitedly, even on hot days.. after that.. I covered her casts.. because quite frankly, then… i just didnt have the energy to keep on explaining..

so they were the well wishers..

there are of course, truly ignorant people out there who are just downright rude, thoughtless and should be taught manners!

this makes me laugh now as I am older, wiser and a much stronger person.. but one comment that I will never forget is that of a young woman walking past with her boyfriend.. We were  just getting back to our car after a lovely walk and for once, Jessica’s casts were on full display.. a young couple were approaching on the footpath as we were preparing to put jessica into her car seat.. they must have noticed her legs in plaster.. asthey passed I unfortunately heard the womans comment to her boyfriend..

“oh my  god! that woman must have dropped that poor baby.. it’s got two broken legs”

I wish I could write that I went over to her and told her how rude she was and that how dare she make such awful assumptions and then be rude enough to say them aloud in earshot of us.. but I didn’t.. I strapped Jessica into the car seat, hoped Stewart hadn’t heard too and  got into the car.. heartbroken.

I remember this being very early in Jessica’s life.. it must have been because my midwife was still visiting us at home.. when she next visited I told her.. and she was amazing.. she told me to stand proud and not let ignorance of others cloud this happy time for our family.. so I didn’t.. I later heard a young boy ask his mummy what was wrong with that baby’s legs.. she looked at me mortified but I didn’t blush and shy away.. I explained to him that she had magic feet that can actually change direction.and that the casts were to help them be like his feet… and he seemed happy with that and I left the shop smiling. 🙂

Children and motherhood is character building! FACT xxxx

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